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User blog:The Nameless Lancer/The Lancer's Bloodborne Academy - How to Fight Great Ones
The Lancer: Take a seat, gentlemen and lady. (Sigh) I really want to get more girls in here because it feels really weird saying that. Anyway, time for another lesson. This one is about Great Ones. Yes, those tentacly motherfuckers that people claim are gods. False gods is what they really are. The chances of encountering a Great One are almost non-existent, but if you do, then you’re in for a fight for your life. I’m going to teach you how to fight them. Any questions before we begin? Daniel: How many Great Ones have you come across? The Lancer: More than I can remember. Anything else? (No response) Alrighty then. Let’s get started. Celestial Emissary The Lancer: Remember those Blue Goobery Motherfuckers I told you about in the last lesson? This is what they worship. Daniel: I think tha.... The Lancer: SHUT UP, DANIEL! Daniel: (Gulps) Sorry. The Lancer: The Celestial Emissary is always with a group of Celestial Minions. It will be disguised as one of them, but will almost triple in size when you hit it enough. It’s nothing to out of the ordinary. Just don’t let the minions gang up on you. Rom, the Vacuous Spider The Lancer: There is a Kin/Great One hybrid thing that was once a human Byrgenwerth Scholar, but was granted eyes, and became a giant spider. It’s not an easy opponent. She can summon spiders to protect her, and use a decent variety of arcane abilities. The most dangerous thing she can do is summon a meteor shower, which can kill you very quickly if you get hit by it. But she only does that if you’re far away from her. Once you get close to her, she can use an area of effect ability that deals a high amount of damage, but isn’t too difficult to dodge. She can also summon a bunch of crystals from the ground, but they’re very easy to avoid. The spiders are a major inconvenience, so take them all out quickly. If you do that, you’re good to go. Any comments or questions? Grace: How do you know it’s a she? The Lancer: I just do. Anything else? Patrick: You said that it was part Kin? The Lancer: That’s right. Patrick: So, does that mean tha..... (Beast Patient cries in another room) The Lancer: I’ll be right back. (The Lancer leaves) Daniel: Was that his “mistress”? Grace: I think so. Fredrick: What’s wrong with this guy? Who would have a beast as their partner? Patrick: Don’t talk about our mentor like that. Grace: He’d kill you for saying that. Fredrick: I meant no disrespect. He’s just...... odd. (The Lancer re-enters) The Lancer: Sorry about that. Where were we? Patrick: I don’t remember. The Lancer: Lets move on then. Amygdala The Lancer: Probably the most common Great One is the Amygdala. They are all over the place, usually hanging on a wall, invisible. Unless you have enough insight, which I definitely do, then you will never see them. They can shoot lasers out of their faces, and can beat you to death with all of those arms. It will also tear its arms off to use them as clubs. Attack its arms or head. It’s legs and tail aren’t worth hitting, but you will be safe when attacking it there. Any questions? (No response) Moving on. Ebrietas, Daughter of the Cosmos The Lancer: Ebrietas is one of the easiest of the bunch to vanquish. It has quite a few attacks, but nothing you can’t handle. It mostly just waves its many tentacles around at you, but it has some unique abilities. It can shoot blood out of its head, which causes frenzy. It also uses A Call Beyond, but very rarely. Honestly, Ebrietas is nothing you should be worried about. Mergo's Wet Nurse The Lancer: The Great One that still haunts my dreams to this day is the Wet Nurse. It’s pretty creepy. It’s armed with a lot of swords. Stay behind it, and you’ll be relatively safe from its attacks. Once it summons the purple fog of death, run in circles around the arena until the fog goes away. It can take quite a good bit of punishment, so have patience, and don’t get greedy. Two more Great Ones to talk about. Moon Presence The Lancer: The Moon Presence is terrifyingly terrifying. It controls the Dream that I was trapped in for so long, and I had to fight it. It’s very beast-like in its attacks. Its most dangerous ability will leave you with almost no life left. The only problem is that it has to recharge after a while, allowing you to heal. It can, however, prevent healing, which is very dangerous. Fortunately, it almost never uses that ability. If you stay strong and don’t get greedy, you’ll conquer the greatest Great One of them all. Great One Beast The Lancer: While searching in an old forgotten tomb far underground, I came across something that I had never seen before. It was a Great One in the form of a beast. It had characteristics of both beasts and kin. Naturally when fighting beasts, I used fire against it. Well, that burned its fur off. I continued fighting valiantly, and claimed victory. Unfortunately, I can’t really tell you how to fight it, because all I did was slash at it with a flaming weapon until it died. That’s it for today, everyone. Class dismissed. Category:Blog posts